Crumpled with Grief, Returned to Dust
Palm Sunday of The Passion of The Lord
Isaiah 50:4–7 / Psalm 22:2a / Philippians 2:6–11 / Mark 14:1—15:47 [15:1–39]
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Reflecting on the Word
By Dr. Karla J. Bellinger
The Passion story in Mark does not point to her. Was she among the crowd of women? As we zoom in to that group, we see a woman whose eyes never leave the cross. She pushes back her scarf to reveal a face red from weeping. Her eyes brim with love. We cannot see it from the outside, but what happens to the heart of a mother as she watches her son die?
She looks at his bleeding hands. Her heart beats faster. Within her chest, it feels as though the muscle of her heart has been pounded into mushy meat, and she remembers: she remembers his fingers caress her hair when he stood behind her as a little boy. Her chest hurts. As he flexes his feet to push his body upward so that he can breathe, she remembers. She remembers the tiny heel that kicked off his swaddling clothes. Her chest hurts so hard that, like him, she can hardly breathe.
A man runs up to offer Jesus a drink. Her son lifts his head. His eyes search for hers. Those eyes always so full of love are now wrenched with agony. Even beneath the pain, she can feel his deep tenderness for her. How can he be willing to do this? The crown of thorns slips lower onto his brow. A crown of thorns encircles her heart, a heart so engorged that the crown constricts and tightens, like a ring constricting a swollen finger: a lifetime of mutual love, given away.
He cries out. He breathes his last. A sharp stab pierces her heart. Her knees give way. She crumples to the ground. She cannot look as they take his body down from the cross. No words come from her mouth. It is finished.
Consider/Discuss
- We might prefer to imagine Mary as the serene, tall woman of Michelangelo’s Pietà rather than a crumpled woman collapsed in grief on the ground. Either way, tears in prayer can be God’s gift for healing.
- Antonín Dvořák wrote his choral piece Stabat Mater after the death of two of his children; listen to the full orchestral version online and allow yourself to be immersed in the deep sorrow of that father. Find a moment this week to weep with God over the death of Jesus and the struggles of this life.
- In this final week of preparation for Easter, listen anew to the story of how Jesus suffered and died. Follow St. Ignatius’ way of interpreting the scriptures, reading and then putting yourself into the scene of the passion of Jesus. What do you see? What does it feel like to be there?
Living and Praying with Word
Jesus of the Cross, sometimes the sorrows of this life make our knees give way and we crumple to the ground. In the dirt, we can feel so heavy that we cannot look up. In the dirt with us, there are many mothers and fathers who have gazed upon the dying of their sons and daughters. On the cross, your body was weighed down when you took our pains upon yourself. We can feel so crumpled on Good Friday. We have not yet gotten to Easter. We cannot lift ourselves from the dirt. Have mercy on us, O Lord. We cannot do this on our own. And we pray for those who are crumpled in the dirt with us. Come and be with us this day.