Crumpled with Grief, Returned to Dust

Palm Sunday of The Passion of The Lord

Reflecting on the Word

By Dr. Karla J. Bellinger

The Passion story in Mark does not point to her. Was she among  the crowd of women? As we zoom in to that group, we see a woman  whose eyes never leave the cross. She pushes back her scarf to reveal  a face red from weeping. Her eyes brim with love. We cannot see it  from the outside, but what happens to the heart of a mother as she  watches her son die? 

She looks at his bleeding hands. Her heart beats faster. Within her  chest, it feels as though the muscle of her heart has been pounded  into mushy meat, and she remembers: she remembers his fingers  caress her hair when he stood behind her as a little boy. Her chest  hurts. As he flexes his feet to push his body upward so that he can  breathe, she remembers. She remembers the tiny heel that kicked off  his swaddling clothes. Her chest hurts so hard that, like him, she can  hardly breathe. 

A man runs up to offer Jesus a drink. Her son lifts his head. His eyes  search for hers. Those eyes always so full of love are now wrenched  with agony. Even beneath the pain, she can feel his deep tenderness  for her. How can he be willing to do this? The crown of thorns slips  lower onto his brow. A crown of thorns encircles her heart, a heart so  engorged that the crown constricts and tightens, like a ring constricting  a swollen finger: a lifetime of mutual love, given away. 

He cries out. He breathes his last. A sharp stab pierces her heart.  Her knees give way. She crumples to the ground. She cannot look as  they take his body down from the cross. No words come from her  mouth. It is finished. 

Consider/Discuss 

  • We might prefer to imagine Mary as the serene, tall woman of Michelangelo’s  Pietà rather than a crumpled woman collapsed in grief on the ground. Either  way, tears in prayer can be God’s gift for healing.  
  • Antonín Dvořák wrote his choral piece Stabat Mater after the death of  two of his children; listen to the full orchestral version online and allow  yourself to be immersed in the deep sorrow of that father. Find a moment  this week to weep with God over the death of Jesus and the struggles of  this life. 
  • In this final week of preparation for Easter, listen anew to the story of  how Jesus suffered and died. Follow St. Ignatius’ way of interpreting the  scriptures, reading and then putting yourself into the scene of the passion  of Jesus. What do you see? What does it feel like to be there?

Living and Praying with Word 

Jesus of the Cross, sometimes the sorrows of this life make our  knees give way and we crumple to the ground. In the dirt, we can  feel so heavy that we cannot look up. In the dirt with us, there are  many mothers and fathers who have gazed upon the dying of their  sons and daughters. On the cross, your body was weighed down  when you took our pains upon yourself. We can feel so crumpled  on Good Friday. We have not yet gotten to Easter. We cannot lift  ourselves from the dirt. Have mercy on us, O Lord. We cannot do  this on our own. And we pray for those who are crumpled in the dirt  with us. Come and be with us this day.

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