Obedience—a Dirty Word?

Jesus got lost in the temple, yes. But what do we know about all those years after Jesus got found? Luke says that he grew in “favor” before  God. “Favor” is the same Greek word, charis, for the graciousness  that the angel Gabriel used to describe Mary. Favored: God’s face shone upon them and was gracious to them. Isn’t that cool? 

What does Luke say before that? Jesus went home with his parents and was obedient to them. 

Ooh. Not so cool. Obedient. It’s a dirty word in parenting these days. In some cultures, “Obey!” may be something that parents still say to their kids. But nowadays, there’s a trend for parents to explain to children why they shouldn’t run in the road or stick a fork into the electrical outlet. Out of respect for the child, they are asked how they feel. Straight-up “obedience” is, well, a bit passé. 

At the same time, I have noticed an odd thing. Among the young adults with whom I work in spiritual direction, those who are flourishing are those who have a strong sense of duty. They are not floundering like those who are left to “find their own way” in today’s sea of options. 

So, is there a way to inculcate a sense of responsibility toward God and family while at the same time nurturing respect for the growing human person? 

An unlikely place to turn for parenting advice is to the theology of the Trinity. Yet the early church Fathers spoke of the relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as a perichoresis, a dance, a bowing to one another in service, a willing of the good of the other—respect and obedience at the same time.  

Jesus learned mutual respect and responsibility from Mary and  Joseph. He was so highly favored. But he was also obedient, obedient to his heavenly Father, all the way to the cross. Lord, help us!

Consider/Discuss 

• If we believe that the Lord of the universe wills our good, then it is a joy to obey, to follow, and to allow ourselves to be led, isn’t it? If we don’t believe that God wills our good, why should we follow at all? Think about your  own relationship with God. How does that affect your willingness to obey,  to follow, and to be a disciple? 
• Families are a place of struggle. Families can be messy. The Holy Family also had their struggles—being refugees, perhaps homeless, perhaps jobless, suffering the death of a spouse—how is that being favored? In  times of trial, how do mutual respect and a deep sense of responsibility  toward each other help a family to get through? 

Living and Praying with the Word 

I close my eyes and say, “Yes, sir! What would you like today,  Lord?” And then I look away. To follow you, God, is my will.  Strengthen my will. It wanders. It weaves. Keep me on your straight  path. I don’t always know what that path is. Make it clear. 

Thank you for respecting me and loving me and guiding me.  Knowing that you will my good and the good of this world, I want  to follow. I believe that you want to impact this world for the good, through me. You know that I am weak. You are strong. Shine your  face upon me and be gracious to me! Holy Family, pray for me!