Dr. Karla J. Bellinger

Dec 09 2024

!sgnisselB ynahpipE

Maybe we have things backwards.

The first time I thought that, I was lying in a sleeping bag on the ground under the big sky of Montana.

For seventeen years, I had been surrounded by trees. My view of the horizon had always been limited by leaves and branches. But now, here, lying on the plains, the sky was so big! The nighttime was immense. I tossed and turned on the hard dirt, feeling exposed. I awoke often to marvel at so many stars. When I turned my head all the way to the right, there was sky. When I turned my head all the way to the left, there was sky. When I rested my head to look upward, there was sky.

Then something began to lighten the darkness. I fell back asleep. When I awoke, a huge star had come up in the east. It was the star that we call the sun. The sky was ablaze with light! That’s when I realized: we have it backwards. Day is not interrupted by night. It is the night that is the constant—always there, beyond the sunlight. The night is the given. The day is the surprise. We look at it backwards.

Maybe the magi looked at things backwards, too. They were among the scholars of their day. But theirs may have been a minority opinion. That star in the east heralds the birth of a king? In the land of the Jews? Not likely. Even if they have a king, they are the Chosen People. Their king would not come for you, a Gentile. Don’t make the trip. You will only be disappointed.

What did they find? O star of wonder, star of might, star with royal beauty bright! They fell to their knees in wonder. Maybe God does things backwards, not as we expect.

Consider/Discuss

What we can see and touch and measure—that is what constitutes scientific “reality.” Some who work in that realm tell us that there is no other reality. But perhaps that majority opinion contains a confirmation bias. If they’re all looking at reality in the same way, maybe that becomes the common consensus? What if that is backwards? What if that which we cannot see and touch and measure is the ultimate reality? How might that be an epiphany?
The feast of the Epiphany celebrates the in-breaking of light. The darkness is the given; the light is the surprise. This week, how could we allow ourselves to be amazed by the radiance of created light? By watching the snow glisten, the stars twinkle, and the rising sun in the morning? How does the light that we see lead us into the glory of the One whom we cannot see?

Living and Praying with the Word

God, sometimes you seem to revel in doing things backwards. The psalmist says that you watch over the poor and the needy, those who don’t really matter in the power structures of the world. You set the planets in the night and then give us the sun at just the right distance to make our crops grow. You surround us with just the right amount of warmth when so many planets are too warm or too cold.

Help us to receive your backward surprises this day! Set us ablaze! You have come in glory to dispel the darkness of our lives. We may not be your Chosen People. But you came to shine your radiance on us as well. Glory to you, Light of the world!

Dec 09 2024

The Smell of the Good Shepherd

Let me tell you what it is like to smell like a shepherd. Some in Bethlehem say that we stink. If you ask me, it’s a good smell. Of course, as a shepherd, I have smelled of sheep for all of my life. My mother smells of sheep as she gathers wool in her arms after the shearing. That smell tells me that I am home.

That dark night, I was afraid. The angels were majestic; they smelled wild. My grandfather? He was not afraid. He said that we should hurry to find that baby in the manger as we had been commanded. The sky in the east was turning pink.

When we entered the cave, I was not afraid. It smelled like sheep. The baby was lying in the feeding trough.

“We are blessed to see this day,” the mother said. I nodded as I looked at that child, who also smelled of sheep. A feeling of cleansing struck me in the presence of her purity. I am a good young man. But I could be better. She looked me in the eye. I sensed a desire for deeper holiness. This young woman had drunk from the well of God’s love; she invited me to drink more deeply, too.

She lifted the child. I have never cradled a lamb so tenderly as she enfolded that child. As I looked at that mother and baby, warmth spread through my ribcage. My jaw relaxed. God was near. I did not need to be afraid of this nearness; it enfolded me and surrounded me; it was a blessed nearness. I was home.

Then I had to run and tell everyone! The Savior has come!

I wonder, what will she tell him about us? Will she be embarrassed about his smelly first visitors and never mention us? Or will she teach him to hold us in great esteem?

Consider/Discuss

For the shepherd in this story, the smell of sheep evoked a sense of home. For me, it is the smell of a campfire that brings me home. My “woods coat” smells of smoke. I like to roast marshmallows, which brings back early memories of camping with my family. What smells evoke “home” for you? The aromas of this earth are only a whiff of how good heaven will be. What do you imagine that our ultimate homeland will smell like? Sheep? Marshmallows? Chocolate cake?
Many lifelong Catholics have memories connected with Mary as home, one might say—from the warmth of the family rosary, the elation of crowning the Mary statue, or the protection of our Lady of Guadalupe’s mantle enfolding them. Others who were not raised Catholic may not have those homey early memories. On this feast day of Mary, the Holy Mother of God, who is the Virgin Mother to you?

Living and Praying with the Word

Jesus, you called yourself the Good Shepherd. Lift us into your arms this day. We know that we are smelly with the manure of life. But bless and keep us this day anyway. You don’t seem to mind our smelliness. Your birth and your life give us meaning; we are home when we are with you.

Mother Mary, you welcomed the shepherds. Wrap us in your love as well. And then, like them, we will burst out with joy! We cannot keep it in. Thank you, God, that life has meaning! That we are loved! That the Savior has come! Shout it out! Merry Christmas! And happy 2022.

Dec 09 2024

Obedience—a Dirty Word?

Jesus got lost in the temple, yes. But what do we know about all those years after Jesus got found? Luke says that he grew in “favor” before God. “Favor” is the same Greek word, charis, for the graciousness that the angel Gabriel used to describe Mary. Favored: God’s face shone upon them and was gracious to them. Isn’t that cool?

What does Luke say before that? Jesus went home with his parents and was obedient to them.

Ooh. Not so cool. Obedient. It’s a dirty word in parenting these days. In some cultures, “Obey!” may be something that parents still say to their kids. But nowadays, there’s a trend for parents to explain to children why they shouldn’t run in the road or stick a fork into the electrical outlet. Out of respect for the child, they are asked how they feel. Straight-up “obedience” is, well, a bit passé.

At the same time, I have noticed an odd thing. Among the young adults with whom I work in spiritual direction, those who are flourishing are those who have a strong sense of duty. They are not floundering like those who are left to “find their own way” in today’s sea of options.

So, is there a way to inculcate a sense of responsibility toward God and family while at the same time nurturing respect for the growing human person?

An unlikely place to turn for parenting advice is to the theology of the Trinity. Yet the early church Fathers spoke of the relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as a perichoresis, a dance, a bowing to one another in service, a willing of the good of the other—respect and obedience at the same time.

Jesus learned mutual respect and responsibility from Mary and Joseph. He was so highly favored. But he was also obedient, obedient to his heavenly Father, all the way to the cross. Lord, help us!

Consider/Discuss

If we believe that the Lord of the universe wills our good, then it is a joy to obey, to follow, and to allow ourselves to be led, isn’t it? If we don’t believe that God wills our good, why should we follow at all? Think about your own relationship with God. How does that affect your willingness to obey, to follow, and to be a disciple?
Families are a place of struggle. Families can be messy. The Holy Family also had their struggles—being refugees, perhaps homeless, perhaps jobless, suffering the death of a spouse—how is that being favored? In times of trial, how do mutual respect and a deep sense of responsibility toward each other help a family to get through?

Living and Praying with the Word

I close my eyes and say, “Yes, sir! What would you like today, Lord?” And then I look away. To follow you, God, is my will. Strengthen my will. It wanders. It weaves. Keep me on your straight path. I don’t always know what that path is. Make it clear.

Thank you for respecting me and loving me and guiding me. Knowing that you will my good and the good of this world, I want to follow. I believe that you want to impact this world for the good, through me. You know that I am weak. You are strong. Shine your face upon me and be gracious to me! Holy Family, pray for me!

Dec 09 2024

Wow, God! Thanks!

The dark night has become day. The rescue has come. God has lifted our sorrows. Have you seen it? A man emerges from the doors of the hospital when his family thought that they’d never see him again. Have you felt it? A woman hugs her son, whom she thought was lost, but here he is! Do you know that jubilation, that moment when light rises out of darkness? A little girl, who thought that she was going to drown, finds herself safely on the shore. Have you ever been so low that rescue feels so good? The night has passed! This is the day!

Isaiah describes the Israelites returning home from Babylon: their eyes brim with tears, seeing through prisms of joy, wondering at a deliverance so profound and so unexpected. O God, thank you!

Has this wonderment been part of your life, too? Not just any joy, but the gut-level amazement at having been rescued? “Break out together in song, O ruins of Jerusalem,” Isaiah sings. The deliverance has come. “Shout with joy!” today’s psalmist says.

I love to look at the stars at night, even in winter. It’s so dark, as only winter can be dark. The constellation Orion glitters in the south. The Big Dipper shines in the north. The air smelled crisp with cold. A sense of wonder crept into my heart and shivered in my spine. It was Christmas Eve. The people who lived in darkness have seen a great light. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

This morning, the sun is up. Christmas is here. There is food to be cooked. There are people to see. The wonder of night has turned to the miracle of day. Baby Jesus has come. It is Christmas! “Joy to the world, the Lord has come!”

Consider/Discuss

Look at the joyous events of your life—the holy births, the sacred deaths, the healings, and the reconciliations. Since your experience of Christmas last year, how have you experienced light coming out of darkness? How has God lifted you? On this Christmas day, what does rescue mean to you and those whom you love? For what do you give thanks?
In the midst of this Christmas day, find a moment to cultivate a sense of wonder at the beauty of creation—look, just look! The people, the sun, the babies, the snow, the Christmas tree, and the clouds—how does God sing to you through the world around you, saying, “Look, I am here!” After one minute of savoring creation, pray this simple prayer: “Wow, God! Thanks!”

Living and Praying with the Word

Take time to wonder? Lord, that’s not very grown up. I gave that up when I became an adult. You have to get real. Do important things. I don’t have time for awe. I don’t have time to spend in wonderment. That’s just “fluffy” and I am not fluffy. What’s that you say? It is Christmas? Well, yes, it is. Be childlike, just this one day, and spend time in amazement? Allow you to fan the flame of wonder within me? For one minute? Well, okay, if you say so. Hey, um, yeah, by the way . . . Wow. Thanks!

Dec 05 2024

More Than Mere Optimism

When I was in my twenties, I had an “Elizabeth.” I was very pregnant with my first child. She had nine. Sitting at her kitchen table, we talked about God. We talked about faith. We talked about children. When I’d come to visit her, joy visibly leapt into her smile. As my belly swelled and the baby rolled around, I’d rest my elbow on her huge kitchen table and absorb her wisdom.

What Carol (my Elizabeth’s name) taught me was that God believes in babies. Even when we are tempted to lose hope in the future, God keeps sending new little people into this world. It is God’s mark of trust in the human race—even when we keep mucking it up, the good Lord says, “Let’s try again. Maybe they’ll get it right this time.” When she would say that, it would make me laugh. It gave me hope.

In Luke’s Gospel, two women also come together. The younger runs to the older. Yet it is Elizabeth who swells with elation as her baby jumps within her. We still pray her joyful exclamation to Mary: “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb!” Elizabeth is filled with expectation.

Hope isn’t just a psychological manufacturing of inner optimism. Hope is a human being. The writing from Hebrews says “a body you prepared for me.” That body was not very big when unborn John the Baptist leapt for joy. God believes in us enough to become one of us. Hope comes in the person of Jesus of Nazareth.

In a few days, we will celebrate the coming of that tiny person— the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us. We may have mucked it up in the past, but this Christmas, God offers another chance: “Let’s try again. Maybe they’ll get it right this time.”

Consider/Discuss

God believes in people. God works through the many “Elizabeths” in this world, both male and female—people who recognize and follow the Lord and thus embody goodness and kindness and love. Has there been an Elizabeth for you? How did he or she help you to grow in faith?
Some in the field of psychology suggest that religion is simply a way of coping with life’s difficulties, that those who believe in Jesus are . . . well . . . just a little backward and simple; religion is no longer necessary in our scientific age. But what if there is no Other to turn to, no God who holds us up, no redemption from darkness? Where is hope? In these final days of Advent, ponder this: Is the idea of God just wishful thinking or is God the reality who holds up your life? As you behold the baby in the manger this Christmas, ask the Holy Spirit to swell within you with a renewed dose of the gifts of faith, hope, and love.

Living and Praying with the Word

Lord God, Creator of the world, the psalmist says thank you to God, who “knit me in my mother’s womb” and says thank you “because I am wonderfully made.” Thank you for creating me. Help me to start anew this week of Christmas, to recognize that you believe in me. In times of temptation, help me to hold doggedly fast to you. In times of despair, help me to cling to you alone as my hope. Thank you for coming into this world in such a small and obscure way in the womb of a young girl, who was willing to shelter and grow you for nine months. Thank you for her Elizabeth. Thank you for our “Elizabeths” who give us hope by embodying you. Thank you, thank you most of all for daring to take a chance on us.