The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

Jan 07 2025

The Eyes Have It

I never get quite enough Christmas. Liturgically, this week we are still singing Christmas songs. Poinsettias still decorate the altar. Yet we have already abandoned the infancy stories. In today’s reading, Joseph uproots his family to flee to Egypt to keep the holy child safe. Does the glow of “Silent Night, Holy Night” have to dissolve into the shadows quite so quickly?

Jesus was born into a messy world. In my mind, I know that. In my heart, I don’t want that.

A glimmer of insight came to me when I noticed a painting by Federico Barocci. In the Rest on the Flight to Egypt (c.1570), Mary sits in the center of the Holy Family. She looks to the left, as though to draw attention away from herself. St. Joseph hovers above her. He reaches out his fingers to place a twig into the fist of Jesus, a chubby toddler. The leading line in the painting is that connection between father and son. The dawning sun rises in the background. That light is reflected in the bearded man’s eyes as they shimmer with tenderness for the child. The eyes of the baby gleam back with love. A placid donkey looks on. Had they just barely escaped Herod’s bloodbath? Is there anxiety in Joseph’s heart? This paints a picture of calm. Jesus doesn’t look old enough to talk, but he shoots Joseph a playful grin as though to say, “Daddy, don’t worry. We are here together.”

In mutual love, there is calm amidst the messiness—holy rest, Christmas peace. It doesn’t fade away. We find it in family. We find it in friendship. We find it in the solidarity of community. We find it in Jesus’ gleam: “Don’t worry. We are in this together.”

Consider/Discuss

We yearn for peace, but life can be messy. What is in Jesus’ eyes when he looks at us? How can we be enveloped by Christmas peace through that loving gaze?
Much of togetherness is communicated with the eyes, both in family relationships and in friendship. Storytellers suggest looking at people with two seconds of loving eye contact. Try that tender attention this week and see how family and friends respond.

Living and Praying with the Word

Jesus our Savior, you lived through all of the messiness of human life. You know more of trauma than we could ever imagine. Yet you have not abandoned us. You are here. You are with us. Help us to put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, and love, especially in our families. Strengthen the bond of perfection in all of our relationships. This flight of faith is challenging. We cannot do it without you. Thank you for abiding with us and surrounding us with your gleam of love.

Dec 13 2024

Jesus, Family Man

If you were to choose an adjective to accompany “family,” what would it be? Holy? Or is it more likely to be “dysfunctional”? If culture reflects reality, our greatest American playwrights hold up families falling apart as the norm: Eugene O’Neil’s Tyrone family, Tennessee Williams’ haunted Southern siblings, Arthur Miller’s Willie and Linda Loman and sons, and, most recently, the families of Tracy Lett’s August: Osage County and Jon Rabin Baitz’s Other Desert Cities. Behold, the American family!

And yet, granting that every family, like every person, is imperfect and on occasion wounds each other in both small and big ways, we do find holiness in families. It is the holiness that we see in Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, who cared for and respected each other, a holiness that witnesses to the power of God’s grace at work in hearts open to it.

In today’s Gospel we see this gracious care in the worry of parents who could not find their son. We hear it in Mary’s anxious words to Jesus, in Jesus’ fidelity to his dual parentage—earthly and heavenly—and in the simple statement that “he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them.”

As members of the human family, imperfect and even sinful, we too are graced with a capacity for “advancing in wisdom and age and favor before God and one another.” Each of us is called to holiness, to a fullness of being made possible by being open to the loving touch of God’s grace made visible in the Incarnation.

Consider/Discuss

Do Mary, Joseph, and Jesus have anything to teach us about what it means to be family?
What does it mean to be a “holy family”? Is it a matter of doing “holy” actions, or saying “holy” words?

Responding to the Word

Loving Father, you have created all who have ever lived in your image and likeness. Help us to recognize all others as our brothers and sisters and to honor, respect, forgive, and love them as your children. Together, enable us to bring your peace and justice, healing and reconciliation to our world.

Dec 13 2024

Scripture Study for

Sirach’s instruction on family living provides a glimpse into a way of life that brought happiness in the past. It is meant to encourage similar behavior that will bring the same happiness in the present and the future. Its focus is the respect and obedience that children (both sons and daughters) owe their parents (both mother and father). The final verses exhort the adult son to care for his father in his declining years. The picture portrayed is quite moving. Like all biblical teaching, this instruction on respect and care for one’s parents is intended for the adult child, not a minor.

The Colossians are told that they are God’s chosen, holy, and beloved people. Therefore, they should act accordingly. All the virtues they are called to live out are relational. Directed toward others, they require unselfish sensitivity. The motivation for such self-sacrifice is the forgiveness that the Christians themselves have received from God. The list continues with an admonition to love, the highest of all virtues. The peace of Christ, which is placed before them, is an inner peace that comes from a right relationship with God and therefore true harmony with others.

Today’s Gospel reading provides us with the only glimpse we have into the early years of Jesus. While the key element in the passage is the Christological self-declaration of the young Jesus, the context of the account depicts a very religious family unit and an equally submissive son. Although a popular tradition (found in some religious art) suggests that Jesus was teaching in the temple, the text does not state this. He was merely part of the exchange of ideas. There is no conflict between Jesus’ responsibilities of sonship in his relationship with Joseph and Sonship in his union with God, for he is faithful to both. Approaching adulthood, he assumes a public role; after his striking appearance in the temple, he returns to a life of obedience to his parents.

Dec 09 2024

Obedience—a Dirty Word?

Jesus got lost in the temple, yes. But what do we know about all those years after Jesus got found? Luke says that he grew in “favor” before God. “Favor” is the same Greek word, charis, for the graciousness that the angel Gabriel used to describe Mary. Favored: God’s face shone upon them and was gracious to them. Isn’t that cool?

What does Luke say before that? Jesus went home with his parents and was obedient to them.

Ooh. Not so cool. Obedient. It’s a dirty word in parenting these days. In some cultures, “Obey!” may be something that parents still say to their kids. But nowadays, there’s a trend for parents to explain to children why they shouldn’t run in the road or stick a fork into the electrical outlet. Out of respect for the child, they are asked how they feel. Straight-up “obedience” is, well, a bit passé.

At the same time, I have noticed an odd thing. Among the young adults with whom I work in spiritual direction, those who are flourishing are those who have a strong sense of duty. They are not floundering like those who are left to “find their own way” in today’s sea of options.

So, is there a way to inculcate a sense of responsibility toward God and family while at the same time nurturing respect for the growing human person?

An unlikely place to turn for parenting advice is to the theology of the Trinity. Yet the early church Fathers spoke of the relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as a perichoresis, a dance, a bowing to one another in service, a willing of the good of the other—respect and obedience at the same time.

Jesus learned mutual respect and responsibility from Mary and Joseph. He was so highly favored. But he was also obedient, obedient to his heavenly Father, all the way to the cross. Lord, help us!

Consider/Discuss

If we believe that the Lord of the universe wills our good, then it is a joy to obey, to follow, and to allow ourselves to be led, isn’t it? If we don’t believe that God wills our good, why should we follow at all? Think about your own relationship with God. How does that affect your willingness to obey, to follow, and to be a disciple?
Families are a place of struggle. Families can be messy. The Holy Family also had their struggles—being refugees, perhaps homeless, perhaps jobless, suffering the death of a spouse—how is that being favored? In times of trial, how do mutual respect and a deep sense of responsibility toward each other help a family to get through?

Living and Praying with the Word

I close my eyes and say, “Yes, sir! What would you like today, Lord?” And then I look away. To follow you, God, is my will. Strengthen my will. It wanders. It weaves. Keep me on your straight path. I don’t always know what that path is. Make it clear.

Thank you for respecting me and loving me and guiding me. Knowing that you will my good and the good of this world, I want to follow. I believe that you want to impact this world for the good, through me. You know that I am weak. You are strong. Shine your face upon me and be gracious to me! Holy Family, pray for me!

Dec 09 2024

Scripture Study for

The story of Hannah is one of many in the Bible in which a child who will be significant in Israel’s history is born to a previously “barren” woman. Hannah eventually became pregnant after praying fervently to God for a male child, promising to “give him to the Lord” as a consecrated person, a Nazirite (1 Samuel 1:9–11). God heard her prayer and she bore a son, who would become the prophet Samuel. Now she is fulfilling her promise to God and is bringing the child to the sanctuary at Shiloh. The story of Hannah illustrates both God’s providential care and the devotion of a mother to the God who answered her prayer.

A central theme in the First Letter of John is the love of God, which “begets” God’s children. Those whom God has loved and who respond in love “may be called children of God.” This is all effected through and in Christ. To be a child of God is not merely to be loved by God but to be assured of an inheritance, which is to abide or remain in Christ—and therefore in the Father—and thus to obtain eternal life. The way to show that one is a child of God is to reflect the nature of the parent, which means in effect to imitate and obey God’s Son. Jesus manifested above all God’s love, which is why all children of God must “love one another.

As the Son of the Most High (1:32), Jesus is eager to claim his identity and the work associated with it. Thus we have the story of the child who is drawn to the temple, the house of God, and who already is able to speak and teach there. While one might consider any other child disobedient or at least thoughtless in remaining behind without telling his family, in the case of Jesus this is perfectly justified—he is exactly where he needs to be, which is with his heavenly Father. At the same time, he honors his human parents and respects their authority. The person and role of Jesus is thus shown in this short vignette to be unique and, well, rather complicated.